Newborn Photos I Wish I Had

Dear Mamas-to-be,

I am a photographer, a story-teller, a mom.  Back when I first experienced my newborn baby,  I new very little about photography.  I had a fancy camera but didn’t know how to use it.  Despite lacking that skill, storytelling was very, very important to me so I ended up snapping a lot of photos of the usual; arriving home, his first bath, his first visits with grandparents, etc.

Now, fourteen years later, when I look back and think about myself and my relationship with my husband and son (now two sons), I realize there are so many photos I wish I had that I don’t. Photos that showed emotion and heart and who we were at the core. I’d like to share those with you to make sure that you don’t miss out too.

As a first time mom I felt overwhelmed.  I planned, read, and consulted with friends for months on how to have the best pregnancy, delivery, and first year of baby’s life ever.  Everyone around me seemed to love motherhood and I thought I would too. I was so excited to have a little newborn baby.

My son arrived with a lusty deep cry, eager for my attention from the first moment.  He was, by far, the biggest baby in the nursery at the Japanese hospital where he was born. I spent the first days of his life learning how to care for him.  When we left, five days after his birth, I thought I was ready.

I wish I had photographed the hard stuff.

That readiness quickly evaporated when we got home.  A memory, firmly cemented in my mind, or perhaps several all lumped together, is of nursing my sweet babe.  It was hard, and painful, and involved a lot of tears, on both of our ends. There was a rocking chair in the corner of his small nursery where I spent countless hours, especially at night rocking and rocking, soothing and shushing, and trying nursing again.  I was over this newborn stage but now I wish I had those moments captured in a photo that I can touch and hold and remember.

I wish I had photographed the everyday things.

We lived in Japan when my oldest was born.  It was quite the feat to get out and about with him.  Stairs, lots of stairs, in and out of the house, the train stations the buses, and lots and lots of walking to get anywhere. Most of the time I wore him in a little front pack because that was the easiest thing to do. He had a  fuzzy warm suit that made him look like a little teddy bear and people stopped us on the street constantly to get a peek.  Having photos that show us out and around in our neighborhood would be so wonderful to have and pass on to my son as part of his unique baby story.

I wish I had photos of my newborn baby and me.

While I was good at documenting lots of his firsts, I didn’t document firsts for me. I was busy telling his story, which is valuable, but was pushing mine aside.  With his arrival, every decision I made affected someone else.  From what I could eat to whether or not I would continue my career as a teacher. I provided for every single one of his needs and it greatly affected my life. I wish I had photos of me attending to him to help me remember the beginnings of this strong bond we now have.

I wish I had photos of my husband and I.

Just like that we went from best friends and travel buddies to working together to make sure this little human of ours made it through another day. To say our relationship didn’t drastically change would be denial, yet it wasn’t a loud obvious change, it was full of subtlety and nuances. I wish someone else was there to capture my husband and I, working together to sustain this new family of ours, spending time together, laughing, crying and just being.

I admit, I wished those newborn days away.  I was tired and scared and hopeless about the fact that my sweet little baby would ever sleep longer than 45 minutes, or that I would ever get a quiet moment. I wish I had captured those feelings, all of the changes that were happening at once, growing me, growing us into who we are today.

If you are a mama-to-be, let’s work together to make a plan of action and capture these life-changing, sweet, fleeting moments you are about to experience.  Let’s Chat!